Wednesday, September 23, 2009

distress of a subtle being

LOL. okay so heres the story… i came home… felt like listening to my fav song. …i ended up singing really bad to it :[ sorry all. but it always makes me feel good.

Ordinary People by John Legend is a song all of you should try to understand. Through hard tough times, this song has raised me up through anything.

I feel like I'm in a prison that not even my body, soul, and mind can elude, that the very technical fact that my dad seems like he's building all my stress through spite. Everyday I wake up hoping something great...or at least good is going to happen. I cant take the pain, suffering, constant reminders that I should apologize to my mom anymore, can't endure it any longer.
After that day, my life has been all too complicated to explain. She doesn't give me rides to school anymore, doesn't walk into my room to wake me up (even though I'm always awake when she comes in to check if I'm sleeping in), and she doesn't prepare any lunch for me. I can say this is one of the worst things that has happened to me in life, but all I learned so far in this is that my mom is one of the most stubborn people I know and that my dad really doesn't care about me. All in all, friends are always here to cheer me up, keep me heading forward, always giving me advice and an outlook on the positive things that are coming to me. Everyday the tension overindulges between my mom and I, and it makes me wonder how much my mom abhors my presence because every time I enter into the same room as her, the presumptuous aura I start feeling gives me more of a reason to not even "apologize" to her.
I loathe that my dad is trying to make me apologize to her. Of course I'd apologize to my mom even though it's not my fault, but this is the last draw. I can't stand that she gets away with this. She thinks that the reason we aren't talking anymore is because I contributed to it by opening my mouth and saying three years of internal stress. Precarious my heart and mind may be, but in the end, it's affected and softened by my friends.



  1. Mikey, I went through an issue with my parents like that at one point. Trust me, it gets better. She's your mom after all. No matter how stubborn a person can be, they can't hold a grudge against their own child for too much longer than a couple weeks. Trust me, this will pass. On the bright side, you're an amazing writer :D

  2. ^^ agree. you really are an INCREDIBLY AMAZING writer! hope things get better mikey :)